CHOICE IS POWER!

This morning I get up, head to Peter Mac and have my Oncology review for the 3 months of my soft trial ~ so far so good .. only a few hot flushes but nothing I cant handle. My cervical tests came back clear however yet again they need to further test my ovaries, which has me a little concerned as breast cancer and ovarian cancer can have a link. Not much I can do besides book myself in for further testing.

With that I decide to have lunch with Brad which was great, only problem was he ended up eating my yummy order of grilled chicken and broccoli with rice, while I got stuck with his 'boring' choice of soup ... how does that happen? After a good meal and much needed coffee I head into work for my shift.

I cannot tell you how pumped I feel everytime I enter this place. I will probably repeat myself over and over again but it is so true, when you surround yourself with likeminded people how uplifting it can be. Being in a environment where I see so many women of all shapes and sizes, ages and colour there doing the same thing ...getting fit and healthy is a god send!

I talk to these women throughout my shift ... motivating them to make positive changes in their life.. the way they think, feel, eat etc and it is AMAZING when I see them back time and time again working towards keeping focussed.

I even had 2 women today say to me that I was an inspiration ... that my positive attitude even though I am going through breast cancer makes them think twice when they feel too lazy to get to the gym, they even mentioned how their moods lift as soon as they start out on a circuit with me. You have no idea how this makes me feel - I cant tell you what wonders this job is doing for me .. I have noticed I am feeling so much more stress free ...

Stress Free ... well when I got home today I was confronted by a VERY stressful situation - one that I decided was TOO much for me to continue handling so my way of handling it was simple ... I weeded out the person who was creating so much drama and stress in my life.

At the end of the day I am a STRONG believer that mind over matter does exist... as does the law of attraction and for those that say yes it does for one purpose and no it doesnt for another are simply fooling themselves and are trying to make excuses up for their own weaknesses.

The beauty of having being diagnosed with cancer is that I have learnt first hand the power of inner strength and mindset. No we dont have the power to control other peoples behaviour, words, intentions etc but we DO have the POWER and ABILITY to CONTROL our own lives and mindset, and how we let situations effect us.

When people say to me I cant get over what this person said or what that person did .. or worse still if people are up and down and 1 second they are happy and forgiving and positive and the next they are angry and distant and negative I now choose not to waste my energy on these people.

We as people have CHOICE - we have POWER of CHOICE .. we can CHOOSE to be miserable, depressed and live topsy turvey drama filled lives or we can CHOOSE to focus on the POSITIVES that life gives us. Yes it is that simple. So when you choose the negative option it is usually because you have a need or want for a drama filled life .. YOU are in control of your own destiny only YOU can make that choice as to what type of life you will live but I assure you - choose one that is negative and you will notice that those around you, even loved ones will soon be tired of the drama filled bullshit and you will end up a very old and lonely soul ... choose to live a life of POSITIVITY and you will notice that not only will your world be surrounded by so many people who love being around your good energy but things in your life will fall into place.

I look at my situation .. I was 27 when I was diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer, now being so young and knowing my odds of survival I could have so easily have gone into a state of depression and played the 'poor me' card .. I could have easily have quit my job whilst I was going through treatment ... I could have easily slept in all day all night during my 7 months of chemo .. crying why me ... but it came down to me having a choice ... regardless of my situation of being faced with a deadly disease i had a choice on how I would allow it to effect my life. I chose to be positive.

I kept working through my chemo .. sure my hours were cut back as some days I literally couldnt get out of bed but most of the time I was at work .. trying to live normally ... yes i had it ringing in my head everday that I had cancer and that I could very well DIE from this but I CHOSE to remain positive .. I am not superhuman so there a times it got hard .. but the harder it got the more focussed I became on remaining positive.

After my double maestectomy I learnt that my surgeons had found 2 more tumours in my blood vessle .. and every day I now live with the unknown fear that it could have spread to my blood .. everyday I now live with the fear that I could die in the next 5 years .. that I may not get to see my son start school ... graduate ..get his first girlfriend or turn 21 ... everyday I fear that my Drs will tell me the cancer has come back .. which we know if that happens it is incurable .. now even though I live with these fears every second of every day I refuse to give up on being positive because that is the CHOICE I am able to make. That is the POWER that I have as a human being ... and people underestimate that power way too often!

Do I have less patience for people who dramatise situations that are not life or death matters - YES I do .. why .. because these people make me angry .. they have lives that are blessed with good family and friends... good jobs .. and most importantly their good health. These people have NO idea how lucky they are ... and it actually is insulting to those of us who are less fortunate...and not by choice!

So for those who care to talk to me about not being able to get over an arguement that had hurtful words or comments I say in return - I simply pity you for feeling the need to allow such way of words to consume your life and eat away at you to the point you feel the need to create such drama ... I cant help but cry as I right this as it makes me feel sick to the core of my stomach that people like this dont appreciate, respect or take time to be greatful for the beauty they have .. instead they focus on all the negative shit no matter how small it is.

Something I always say to myself is that if you ask the universe to make you more forgiving .. or stronger .. or whatever it is that you may wish you were .. the universe will never hand it out to you on a silver platter .. instead it will create situations in your life that give you the opportunity to become those things ...

As for me, I remain thankful that I am blessed with cancer ~ for it has made me realise the real power of choice ... choice of mindset .. choice in the way we allow ourselves to be effected my situations!

With that tonight have chosen to cleanse myself of these people .. and it is for good.